As I am sitting in front of the pacific staring at the endless blue in the hopes that I will get lucky and catch a glimpse of the whales catching a breath after a long voyage from Alaska, I think about what brought me here and how come it is only my first time if this feels so good. Suddenly, I am immersed in thoughts that are legion, like the waves before me, and just like the waves have no clear origin. I can’t trace them back to any single wind or ocean stream so I better let a few out before I drown.
I think of a friend who committed hesitation when I let him in on the plan and offered to tag along or at least do something similar. I reckon it is often not the lack of opportunity, but rather the depth of the rut we are stuck in thwarting us. It is inertia we have accumulated shackling us.. . Deep inside we know what makes us happy. Deep inside there is the voice of authenticity we doubt too much. If I were to think too rationally, I would have been spending my winter envying another life just like that friend. I remember that children are not the most rational class of people yet they are way up there (for the most part) on the happiness scale. From what I have learned from Gabor Maté, I suppose it is that they are relatively more connected to their authentic inner voice and intuition and follow that compass.
Now let me briefly explain, how and why I ended up here.
I had turned into an atomic bills-payer entity for a long while. It was the pandemic, the job which became serious even before graduation, then the graduation itself, followed by more work, a frigid dark winter, and the ensuing switch to a new role with even higher demands. I realized this is never going to end if don’t slow down and take a turn. Life in Toronto, Canada had stressed me so much I thought I would fall off the wagon and be run over by the train if I took a break. Extortionate rents, gross mishandling of a public healthcare situation, off-the-chart taxes, and gloomy eerie drawn-out winters had me by the collar. Winters in Canada even in Toronto are bitterly cold, that is no secret. The apathy among people is palpable once that last layer of clothes becomes indispensable to surviving the cold. If you were from a warm climate, depression in that society would be conspicuously noticeable. It seems there is a direct relationship between the coldness of the weather and the coldness of the people. In the winter the city shrinks, the destinations look farther, and each day is dark, merely a reflection of the night before. Life should not be this bleak. That winter made up my mind for me: I am no longer taking this abuse.
My first thought was “somewhere warm”. I am not here for the next winter. From that point on it was simply verifying work can be done remotely and managing my life in Toronto while away. Of course, by life, I mean the apartment lease and any bills or recurring payments. The bills are set on auto-pay and the apartment can be sublet and unsurprisingly, I would be saving on rent while away. For all you doubters, it is illegal for a landlord in Ontario to arbitrarily forbid a sublet. Matter of fact, It is a required term in any lease contract that the tenant is allowed to sublet the property contingent upon coordinating and acquiring the landlord’s approval of the sublet tenant. If you don’t see this in your contract, you should bring it up to safeguard and preserve your right for the future. Often times landlords attempt to weasel their way out of this term to avoid assuming responsibilities. Case in point, initially my landlord immediately rejected my request in a curt manner once I even alluded to subletting my apartment, however, they backtracked and agreed to approve when I reminded them of the law and the terms of the contract. Yeah, unfortunately, that’s Toronto. You are conveniently duped and exploited if not careful. Lastly, any important mail or notice can be collected by my friend or the sublet tenant. Very quickly snow-birding is not only viable but the most sensible way to spend the winter.
Next up is scoping the candidate destinations. I remember Turkey and how infatuated I was on my first visit. For this expedition though I am thinking of going south in the same or a nearby timezone. Personally, I think anywhere with the prefix “south” sounds much more alluring. It’s like chocolate. You can’t go wrong with it. Chocolate ice cream, chocolate doughnuts, chocolate cookies, chocolate milk, etc. A friend had moved From Canada to Mexico City in early September so that is the first option in my head. I knew that along with Mexico, a Canadian visa unlocks some central and south American countries such as Costa Rica, Guatemala, Peru, Chile, etc. However, I was able to find more information on Mexico than any of them. Plus there is a good chance I will obtain a full-length 6-month visitor visa to Mexico which is ample time to settle in, explore and escape even the last squeeze of blizzards in the north.
Last minute doubts
It was already December and I had postponed acting on my golden plan. I admit. The cold weather had slowed me down and the haze of the season had made me lazy. The routine of work, the gym, the martial arts classes I was taking, the diet I had adhered to for so long, and the meaningless side-hobbies had added to the inertia. I was unwittingly caught up in the dull normalcy again. It is perplexing how much I had attached my worth and merits to my routines. Sure, martial art classes and overall taking care of your physical health is great but do you genuinely enjoy it and appreciate your day-to-day progress however minute, or is that just another pump to your ego and for posture? Another bullet point on your resume or another attempt to be cherished and admired by the people around you and society? I would loathe and berate myself if I so much as missed one class even though compared to a year ago, I was going to more classes per week, and back then I kind of felt better about myself. I noticed even the exercises I was choosing at the gym were more geared towards feeding my body dysmorphia than promoting health and mobility. When it came to work, I always made sure to put in more hours than my peers and sacrifice other aspects of my life in doing so to feel secure and accomplished. When it came to relationships, I would never bother anyone with a phone call or an invitation to hang out in order to uphold my self-sufficient flawless impenetrable persona. Self-esteem is important but I think I had confused it with ego. It also did not help that I lived in a society where being chronically sick (be it physically, mentally, or emotionally although they are not mutually independent), being lonely, substance and social media addiction, and none-stop chasing of bi-weekly paychecks to catch up to monthly bills is the norm. A society where your genuine interests or desires are not that relevant relative to the expectations from you. Humans are dispensable objects of which there are too many copies.
A gut feeling was warning me I should break the habit. I recalled several occasions when I simply deprived myself of joy by ignoring that call out of fear. I suspect one of the biggest contributing factors in my case is that things were always planned for me on autopilot. Inaction was my default mode and I was less used to making things happen for the sake of my happiness.
Committing eventually
About a week into December I listed my apartment on all markets I had access to. I had to make sure the prospective tenant was trustworthy besides being in good standing financially. If you’ve ever dealt with Toronto’s housing market, you know for a fact how egregiously demand outweighs supply. I immediately had messages from people interested in my apartment, however, I took my time to somewhat get to know the candidates and make sure their plans are aligned with the terms of my sublet. By December twelfth I had sealed the deal and was ready to book the flight.
In the meantime, I was slightly nervous about the logistics of my first visit to Mexico. For instance, the government of Mexico issues tourist visas at the port of entry for passport, PR card, or visa holders of the U.S and Canada. Travelers used to enjoy the maximum six-month visas to the fullest though since the pandemic, it is not uncommon for tourists flying into CDMX or Cancun airport to be granted shorter stays. Numbers as dismaying as seven or twenty days for visitors who had requested month-long visas sent me down the rabbit hole to figure out a workaround. A detour into a smaller airport seems to bypass this issue since larger airports are more popular among digital nomads. The crackdown, by the way, is thanks to people who do border runs and practically live in Mexico year-round while working remotely for a foreign company. This has caused such problems as increasing housing prices in certain areas of Mexico City. Applying for a temporary residence visa, which has a straightforward process, would be one moral way to achieve that. In this youtube video, I spell out what I did to raise my chances of obtaining the full six months. All in all, by mid-December, my booked ticket to heaven became the highlight of 2022.
I remember the crisp air of early morning when I left my apartment. My emotions were an amalgamation of that of someone leaving an abusive relationship and a student who passed the exam while eighty percent of his classmates flunked and were in for another semester. On that winter day, a light denim jacket and jeans made up my outfit and my luggage was not short on shorts. I knew where I was bound. Toronto was slowly cranking up the temperature that day and even tried to get the sun on her side to get me to spend more of my time and money on her but I had already moved on. I remember my uber driver telling me about his cruel girlfriend and her trust issues. Uncomfortably hearing too much information I was thinking to myself: how lonely do people have to become before they start sharing this category of private intel with random strangers? My poor driver was not alone in this regard.
On the flight, I could watch the change in season from north to south like a movie. It was like flying to my childhood. It set me free, It gave me the courage to feel my inner child. It’s an ineffable feeling I can’t put into words.
At last, my warm destination accepted me with open arms. I was in the lightest outfits in January and got the most tan you can get anywhere. I firmly believe humans evolved to thrive in warmer climates. I see myself making the move of a lifetime soon enough.
I have an inkling I will write a bit more but right now I feel like ice cream.
